Bored. So bored. So very bored.

I am SO bored with the Internet anymore.

It was the 1980's and the sky was the limit. The Internet was going to change the world . . . and it did. We were excited by all the possibilities, like a child on December 20th looking toward the 25th. Now we're sitting in a world surrounded with piles of cheap plastic crap and stacks of trashed packaging we don't know what to do with.

A few people have gotten filthy rich from the Internet. The majority are wondering why a billion dollars isn't enough. Consumers have to endure the constant barrage of notices that what was affordable yesterday is now going to cost even more for an even lower-quality experience. The Internet was supposed to bring us the world. It did that, and it also brought a bunch of greedy "service providers" with their hands perpetually stuck out . . . when they're not stuck in our pockets. Thanks, Internet. Just what I needed.

In the 70's we were worried about losing our wallet because it had our money in it. Now the Internet has us worrying about losing our identity along with all our assets in an overnight raid by faceless interlopers, location unknown. Thanks again, Internet.

I love being able to work from home. Online banking is really nice. Getting immediate answers to complex questions is a true benefit. Electronic communication beats the Postal Service hands down. But all this is so commonplace that it has the same cool factor as a colonoscopy. Bo-ring.

Another fun fact is that the Internet facilitates war and destruction in brave new ways. Non-State Actors have the power to bring governments to their knees. State-funded terrorism reaches anywhere on the globe. Disgruntled teenagers threaten economic security of thousands with ease. I guess that isn't actually boring, but it certainly isn't something I'm happy about.

The thrill is gone, baby. It's replaced with the sinking feeling that I'm married to a bi-polar sociopath who smiles and brings me trinkets and holds a virtual knife to my throat when I think of leaving. My wide-eyed sense of enthusiastic curiosity is replaced with a burned-in image of a GoogamazonAI logo that is there even when I close my eyes.

The Internet may still be a Thing That Works, but so is plumbing and the electric grid. How exciting. Not.